Monday, December 3, 2007
Divorce is bad for the environment
Of all the reasons I could think of to remain married, this one would not come up on my top ten! What would be on my top ten list of reasons to stay married? In no particular order:
1. Marriage is a sacrament, divorce is NOT recognized by the Catholic church. To remain within the Church, you must remain married. Marriage is a VOW made before God, and it is not to be taken lightly, it is 'Until death do us part.'
2. Children deserve both parents at home. Children are a natural product of a healthy marriage. When you have a good marriage, with God at the center, you will be open to life and you will probably have children. Divorce is hard on everyone, parents of course, but can be devastating to children.
3. Divorce is emotionally draining.
4. Divorce is financially devastating.
5. Divorce is selfish, marriage is selfless. There are many divorced people in my extended family (currently, more than have remained married, and we are Catholic going back as far as we can trace our geneaology) and with one exception of abuse, most of the reasons are selfish.
Reasons I've been given, not that anyone need explain to me, yet they do, affairs (selfish), want a better provider so I can have better things (selfish), not happy (selfish), didn't love my spouse any more (selfish), cannot imagine staying with my spouse forever (huh? why did you get married? selfish), you get the idea. I don't know anyone who would say marriage is easy, always happy and always rewarding. But, over time, it has its rewards. Worst case, the rewards are not in this life but in the next. In most cases, there are more good times than bad. You just have to weather the storm. Like with any investment, there are 'market swings' and you need to hang tight and have faith. Why is marriage any different? If you say 'I deserve to be happy' I will say you are selfish. We all want to be happy, but happiness is only found through selflessness, not through selfishness.
6. Marriage is hard, but divorce is harder. If your spouse is working long hours and you are alone with the children pulling your hair out, it is still easier than trying to do it all alone. Even if you feel alone, you are never alone if you have faith, faith in yourself, faith in your spouse and, most of all, faith in God. Sometimes just giving your spouse that faith is the only thing required to get through the tough places. Reaching out, giving that leap of faith, may be all they need to 'rise to the occasion' and justify that faith, returning it to you in spades.
7. Divorce causes lonliness. Tearing yourself in half , marriage makes one therefore divorce leaves half, is lonely and painful. Friends of the couple must choose when there is a divorce. It is rare that friends remain friends all the way around.
8. Divorce causes depression. A harder life, loneliness, financial stress, unhappy children, separation from God, depression is only to be expected.
9. Divorce can make you sick. When you are sad, depressed, lonely and stressed, your immune system weakens. This is a most unfortunate occurrence as when you need strength to pick yourself up and move on, you are in your worst state of health.
10. Excepting cases of annullment, you cannot receive the Eucharist. This is really covered by number one, but this point bears repeating and deserves its own enumeration as it is so important. The inability to receive the Eucharist removes an important source of Grace.
There you have it, and nowhere on this list is the fact that divorce is bad for the environment.
Editorial note, be sure to read the post entitled, "Divorce Takes Toll on the Environment, Take Two" which is a follow up to this one.