This was an article I wrote for a website designed to put your name before the public. Check the websites listed under my favorites, you will find it there. Just before I pushed the 'publish' button on their site I read the user agreements. I would lose all the rights to my work. I'm not sure I can take a favorite topic and sign over all the rights to my thoughts like that. Not on this topic. So, instead of getting reviewed by my peers and seen in such a venue (which does tug at me somewhat as an opportunity missed) I hold onto this and print it here. So, comment! Then I will not feel so bad :-)
Feminism has killed chivalry. It is, after all, what women wanted. Women wanted to be equal to men. The mantras we were spoon fed from infancy through college were, 'You can be anything you want to be' and 'Anything boys can do girls can do better' or 'You are equal to men' but feminism, by the currently accepted definition, is wrong.
Let's look at the current definition of feminism from dictionary.com which states:
1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2. (sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3. feminine character.
By reading this definition one can easily see exactly how feminism affected the demise of chivalry. Except for number three which is the true meaning of the word. The word itself is an oxymoron. Definitions one and two mean 'equal rights for women' but definition number three is what feminism truly is. Feminine character.
What exactly comprises feminine character? Anything that IS NOT masculine. Motherhood is the ultimate expression of feminism, but try and tell that to the abortionists who want to murder instead of nurture. The 'feminists' are going against their feminine character.
Feminine character is selfless. In order to nurture you must sacrifice your self and your needs. Having six or eight or ten children is exhausting. And selfless. But the 'feminists' aren't having large families. They are having large incomes, fancy cars, beautiful clothes and large homes instead. But the homes are empty. Mother is working. She may even be the CEO of the company.
Feminine character is joyful. Yes, women who manage a home, cooking and cleaning for a large family can be happy, even joyful. How many career women are filled with joy? Where does the joy come from in a career? Buying things? We all know that material goods are just a band-aid placed over a wounded heart. If you are sad, go buy something to cheer yourself up, if you are happy, buy something to celebrate. But what about the stay at home mother who forgoes the money to keep house for her husband? Can she be joyful without the bling career women flaunt? OF COURSE. True happiness is true feminism.
Go back to your bible. The old Testament. All the way back to Adam and Eve. What did God say to them? He told Eve that her husband shall be her master. He told Adam that he will work to provide for them both. Adam was to work, Eve was to be a wife and mother. That is the nature God gave men and women. When we fight our God given nature, when we try to convince ourselves that our free will is to be the opposite of God's design, we cannot be joyful, self sacrificing and feminine.
This is exactly how feminism destroyed chivalry. Men love women. Men want to be adored by women and not compete with women. Men want to pamper women, and they want women to treat them like men. It is not a weakness in character to allow a man to hold a door, to lift something heavy, to fix something which has broken. Men want to be braver, smarter, richer, stronger, bigger and better than women. When women nurture that desire in their men by admiring, and complimenting him, accepting his affections and his protection, and by allowing him to be a provider and a whole man, well then marriages are sweet and blissful, children are cared for and happy, families stay together and women are fulfilled.
Until this happens chivalry will be remain buried in the ground. We occasionally will experience chivalrous behavior from men. When you do find a true gentleman among men look at the women in his life. I'll bet the women you find will be feminine in dress, mannerisms and appearance. I believe you will find them to be nurturing, self sacrificing and filled with joy. Chivalry must be encouraged and inspired. Only a true feminist, one filled with feminine character has that power. That is why chivalry is dead. Real women are becoming extinct, and without real women, chivalry will die too.