Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Frost and Fear

This brilliant photograph is from here.

Upon waking, in the New York mountains today, I find the ground thickly coated with frost. We have tried very hard to get all of our apples harvested, but it is no small task. Our house smells deliciously of apple treats, and fall is my favorite time of the year. Normally by now we are settled into our full swing with homeschooling, and I'm settling into a time of blissful domesticity. Not only do I adore the mountains in all their glory at this time of the year, swathed in the foliage they display with pride, truly at their most brilliant in October, but I love the crisp air, cool and sometimes frosty nights; and the days that tease your nose with the cool bite before warming into a memory of the summer just passed while always requiring you to wear a shawl or light jacket. This time of year makes me long to hit the kitchen and make soups, stews, and especially breads and muffins, and treats of the fall harvest like apple pie, crisp and sauce. The house smells wonderful and that makes me want it to look wonderful too, so I am inspired to sort clothes, changing over from summer to winter fashions, and clean the house. I'm more willing to do the fall cleaning than my spring cleaning. In the spring, it is a cleanse before Easter, in the fall, it is a cleanse because we are heading into the winter, and the house should be cosy and warm, clean and inviting. I love this time of year.

Yet, this year is different than most, or dare I say different from all that I've ever experienced in the past. Instead of reveling in the glories of fall in the mountains, I'm dealing with migraines and stresses. I'm fighting fear this year, of a sort I never thought I'd have to face. It is frightening. Spiritually I know that letting in fear is an invitation to Satan. I keep trying to remember to have faith in God, focus on the beauty of life as it tickles my senses every moment of the day in the autumn. But it harder than ever before, for me, this year.

Pray for me my friends. We are facing a layoff and a housing crisis. There is no prospect of employment at the moment for my husband after his company closes, his layoff date is as yet undisclosed, yet we know it is coming at any time within the next 10 months. We've been seeking employment for him for months now, knowing that this was a possibility, and since there are 700 others effected, we are looking in 12 states, none of which are our home state of NY. Correction, we are looking in NY, and have been, but realise it is a fool's dream to stay in NY with a large family and the cost of living here, given our current circumstances. The amount of salary he'd be required to draw in would be higher here than just about anywhere else in the US. We are considering some radical moves, weighing our options. Things we never would have considered, even six months ago, are on the table now and being considered as real possibilities. Fear of the unknown is setting in, and I cannot succumb to fear, so I'm fighting it tooth and nail. Now I have a migraine.

This economic crisis is not only effecting the fat cats on wall street and bankers who are being bailed out. But as we see, those who were bailed out are continuining in their greed and habits of excessive spending. The average Joe, like Mr. and Mrs. Thorns and their team of children are the ones who stand to lose everything. May God have Mercy on the United States, and all countries of this world governed by greed and godlessness, most especially those suffering at the hands of it, even when they were living a frugal life.


Alexandra said...

Breath, and trust in the Lord, God will provide. Praying for peace of mind for you and your family.

Lily said...

Thank you, Alexandra.

Mary Bennett said...

Excellent post, esp since we are sharing what you are going through, even though it is to a lesser degree. May God bless you and guide you my friend!