Monday, September 27, 2010

Faith vs. Fear During Adversity: Catholic Mothers Online

My first post for Catholic Mothers Online is running today. The title above is a link to the site, directly to the article.

This is intended to be an update to that posting. Go read here first, then continue.
Fear is debilitating. With fear you make bad decisions. With fear you forget what is really important, trust in God, the love of family, health.

Growing up, when things were tough, I remember people saying, "Well, at least we have a roof over our head." What we faced was no job, no roof. How do you get a roof over your heads when you lose the one you have to foreclosure and you have no job to provide security for a landlord? Where. Do. You. Go. ?

This is what we faced. Thankfully, just after writing that article, my husband was blessed with a job. A really, really good job, with state benefits, better than we had hoped for. It is also a secure job, one on the research and development end of the nanotechnology field, a joint venture of universities, manufacturers, and researchers. It is cutting edge in a growth industry (keep buying all those electronics, and keep demanding they make things smaller) therefore he will not have to worry about another plant closure.

I called the mortgage company moments after he accepted the job offer. The girl I talked with in the foreclosure department told me she would send a HAMP package out to us immediately. It would be sent FEDEX and we would have it within 10 business days. This was 17 days (not business days) before our auction date. We were hopeful. I contacted legal aid in our state and asked questions. Everything seemed to be going along on a positive note.

Seven days (not business days) before our auction, I called our mortgage company and asked where our package was. "Who told you we would send the package out?" Uh-oh, I gave the name. "Well, she needs to be retrained. She gave you false hope. She never should have promised you a work-out package. Once a sale date is assigned, the only thing that will stop it is full payment of the arrears." What? We are X months behind. My husband has not worked in over 13 months. We have no money! "Yes, M'am. I am very sorry she gave you false hope. She will need to be retrained. That was not fair. I apologize."

We lost two weeks on FALSE HOPE! Omigosh! I spent that afternoon making plans.

Plan A: Expensive. Going with a private firm, who makes no promises, and who will represent us and try to renegotiate for us.

Plan B: Also expensive. Bankruptcy. Will stop the sale, no promises for continuation of the stoppage. Buys time.

We went with plan B. Because of his job, we can reorganize and save the house. It is very expensive because we will be paying back what we owe, not having anything forgiven. But we were not looking for a free ride. We just wanted to stay home. We would have paid our mortgage if we could have. We are glad to pay the extra money now, and stay put.

There are so many other effects to my husband's job loss, in bad economic times. This is the most personal information I have ever given on my blog. I did so because maybe someone else will feel less alone. Also, to remind myself to "Keep the faith" because I almost lost it there for a while. And lastly, I share this story, so if you find yourself in this situation, you can be forewarned of how the mortgage companies operate. Do not take them on their word.

God did provide. Not in my timeframe but His. I told my story to a friend at work, an emigrant from the Middle East, who is a Christian. When I told him of how we received word less than 24 hours before our auction time, he said, "God wanted you to increase your faith. He must have felt you needed to." Wow, a lightbulb moment.


Kathleen@so much to say, so little time said...

I'm glad you have a path out of immediate danger, but can we help?

J.L. said...

Not so long ago, my husband and I were on our hands and knees praying in the bathroom so that our kids wouldn't be scared. We were faced with the possibility of losing everything and having to move in with my in-laws. I have never felt that low before. As with your story, God took us right to the edge before saving us. It's a scary place to be but really helped me to see that God is in everything we do and to never give up hope.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Many prayers.

Mary said...

Thanks for visiting, commenting, and following! Loved your post. I'm following back!

claire said...

I am so relieved to read your update! I will continue to pray for you.

Alexandra said...

And the beauty of being Catholic is knowing we can offer up our sufferings to help others by binding our despair with Jesus. No suffering is without its merits. What a precious gift that the Lord gave you in grace to make it through with the protection of Our Mother Mary. Continued prayers for you and your family. ((hugs))

I am going to do some research on alternative living, a plan B, a creative option. It can happen to anyone.

Peggy said...

I am so glad that your husband got a job! I will keep you all in my prayers that all will continue to improve.

Jeanne said...

How I wish I had come across this earlier. I have been throught this and I know exactly how you feel. We did loose our house,years ago, in an auction on Halloween. I think it was fifteen years ago when no one else was suffering hard times. I remember feeling like one of the victums of a natural disaster, you know like when the tornadoes hit except there was no one to help us.
No one except God. We are home owners again and so thankful to God for helping us to persevere and for blessing us in miraculous ways. He rescued us from the storm. Put your trust in Him. He will not disappoint. Wish I could of been of help. God Bless and protect your family.

Angela said...

Lily, thank you for sharing your heart with us and for being so open. "By the blood of the Lamb and through the word of their testimony, they have overcome the evil one'..REvelations..I think about that scripture and what was shared allowing the Lord to work in and through you, and touching so many others....I love ya girl.